Watching on
And just like that... I've decided to jump off LJ again.
I did always say timing was not my strong point.
As soon as I started writing again, it seems the larger part of my LJ world fell into a world of breakups and breakdowns. And as much I've here for all those involved (and I am by the way, just shoot me a message anytime guys), I have my own shit to deal with, and therefore write about.
I will be checking up on my friends list from time to time (and I might get my RSS feeds in order too) but will not be making any new entries in LJ.

I have however been making additions to my personal website, which took FOREVER to get together, but I finally got motivated to do it. For those who have been following, I've been developing Now off that I have created &AMPERSAND, which contains old photos, memories, and a blog. I invite you to add the blog to your favourites, or hit the RSS button to add to your feeds.

I'm on a move to Newcastle, so feel free to shoot me a call and we can find the time to get together, need my number? Just shoot me a comment.

Fire Coming Out of a Monkey's Head
As usual... lyrics say it best...

Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain,
there was a town where the people known as Happyfolk lived,
their very existence a mystery to the rest of the world,
obscured as it was by great clouds.
Here they played out their peaceful lives,
innocent of the litany of excess and violence that was growing in the world below.
To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was enough.
Then one day Strangefolk arrived in the town.
They came in camouflage, hidden behind dark glasses, but no one noticed them: they only saw shadows.
You see, without the Truth of the Eyes, the Happyfolk were blind.

Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead,
the dance of the dead,
the dance of the dead

In time, Strangefolk found their way into the higher reaches of the mountain,
and it was there that they found the caves of unimaginable Sincerity and Beauty.
By chance, they stumbled upon the Place Where All Good Souls Come to Rest.
The Strangefolk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above all things,
and soon they began to mine the mountain, its rich seam fueling the chaos of their own world.
Meanwhile, down in the town, the Happyfolk slept restlessly,
their dreams invaded by shadowy figures digging away at their souls.
Every day, people would wake and stare at the mountain.
Why was it bringing darkness into their lives?
And as the Strangefolk mined deeper and deeper into the mountain,
holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the monkey.
For the first time, the Happyfolk felt fearful for they knew that soon the Monkey would soon stir from its deep sleep.
And then came a sound. Distant first, it grew into castrophany so immense it could be heard far away in space.
There were no screams. There was no time.
The mountain called Monkey had spoken.
There was only fire.
And then, nothing.

O little town in U.S.A, your time has come to see
There's nothing you believe you want
But where were you when it all came down on me?
Did you call me now?

Gorillaz - Fire Coming Out of a Monkey's Head

Caught in a rip
I haven't written here in a while, and it's not from a lack of content I can tell you. So much going on, so many thoughts, so many emotions. I have three weeks off from work, one of which will be spent getting away, the other two just spend with my thoughts. I'll try and sort through the rubble and place them into some kind of order.

I wont be in Sydney much longer.

I've lived here for two years and feel like I've given it my best shot. One of my favourite lines from my favourite movie is 'Some people, you squeeze them, they focus. Others fold'. I'm a man that does not work well under pressure, and Sydney is the mother of all pressure cookers. I have made some great friends in Sydney, but they can't give me what I need. What I need is their time, their patience, and most importantly their attention. Sydney has what I would call a kind of attention deficit disorder, people have time for you, but only in short spurts, before something else has captured their attention. And just when I feel like I'm connecting, in the blink of an eye, they're gone.

Sydney people immediately come back with the argument 'well you need to bug me more often', or 'you need to let me know more often'. It might be selfish of me to say this but I don't want anyone to have to scream at me to get my attention, and nor should I have to do the same. We work 40,50,60 hour weeks, in places that are confined, stressful, and hard work. Why would I want to spent the remaining time in my life doing the same thing, and that's just how it feels. My life is hard work without a pay packet.

So I changed my likes, my dislikes, my personality, and my way of life, just so that I may capture a few extra hours of attention every week, to those who would call me my friends. And strangely enough, I've come to think that for others, this is perfectly normal, and perfectly acceptable. Well it's not to me, and I've been struggling in the sea ever since.

I enjoy the city, it has so much life on the weekends and at night. I think that's why I used to travel to Sydney so much, whether it be from Wollongong, or Newcastle. But when the night was done, it was time to go home. Time to go home to a place where strangers would give you the time of day at the bus stop, where cars wouldn't knock you off the road just to make 3 more car places ahead of you, where mother wouldn't use their prams (with chldren in them) to nip and your ankles in a mall just to get ahead, where people excuse themselves (and wait for a response) before they move in front of you. And where people wouldn't sell their soul just to 'get ahead'.

The most tragic part about watching the bushfires burn through inland Victoria, is that here are communities of people that are good and kind to each other, that would help out a person in need. Yet here in Sydney not just a few days ago, I saw an Ambulance with it's sirens on, wait at a traffic light for 30 seconds before cars would actually stop for them to go through. We see disgusting one eyed acts of discrimination and violence on our national day, not from the stereotypical ignorant small towns, but from the beaches of Manly and Cronula. The very place that has it the best on so many levels. Here, your next door neighbour wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire. They'll just call the police and file a report.

It all adds up to the fact that I am a kind man, I am an optimist, and I believe in humility and decency. None of those values are valued, in this place. And so while the rip takes me out to sea, I'm not going to fight the current any longer. I will patiently wait for a lifesaver, and in a few months bring me back to another shore.

Clubland II
One of the greatest aspects of dance music that I have loved over the years is that of the crowd. I'll be the first person to admit, that the overall of musicality of dance music next to say... rock music is not strong. But people of other music genres are missing the point. Dance has, and always will be about the beat of the drum, to have a room of strangers dance to the same beat, part of the same movement.
It is this that I have loved first and foremost, and it's why I turn up to the clubs and festivals week after week.

DES04- 56 - Version 2

This shot came from my very first night at 'The Cross'. It's one of my favourite places to shoot, even if the lighting is less than desired. The crowd always responds well to quality DJs. It's always less about the fluff, and more about the beats, always a pleasure.

MN01 - 63

I love these girls, This was one of my very first nights at Moulin Rouge, and it was later that I became good friends with them. This was taken very early on when The Potbelleez were just starting to taste club success. While the track was soon to become one of the most played radio hits in 2008, 'Don't Hold Back' had become an anthem at Moulin Rouge, and regular crowd-goers instantly responded to the future hit. This captures the girls singing along the chorus, and is still one of my favourite captures of all time.

Timmy's Tweets
  • Feeling flat, tired, no more words come to mind, not much comes to mind
  • Just over it
  • Quote of the day... "Now that I'm married, I've become the MacGyver of spare time"
  • How you go to broadway looking for pretty much standard items and come up with nothing?
  • I need a BBQ.. And my cat needs to keep his collar on so we can actually spend some time on the patio
  • You want to take the stress away from my credit card? Pay it off for me
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Timmy's Tweets
  • I liked waking up to the rain
  • It seems I'm more comfortable when I'm busy
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Timmy's Tweets
  • Everyone's crashed, so it's JJJ hottest 100 and sport on the teev.. Happy Australia Day!
  • Hottest 100! Predictions? Hopefuls? Thoughts?
  • Was a good long weekend, but not great. Bit of an anti-climax really
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When life is summer programming
From what a read, man was initially meant to be on this earth for about 50 years. We became good at prolonging our life span by inventing medicine, better shelter, and overall advancement for us to withstand nature's elements. But of course with our ever increasing need to develop ideas and technology, we spent more time schooling ourselves, more time training, preparing for... something (I'm not really sure). Then when the time comes to finally put all that preparation to use, we seem to be excited to be finally ready, we're in such a hurry to do... something (I'm not really sure) at a breakneck speed, or better than anybody else.

Then we do it.

But what happens when you run out of things.

I feel like my life is starting to resemble something of a carbon copy of what everything came before it. Kinda like TV re-runs in the summer months.

I've been working pretty hard lately, more than most, but less than some I'm sure. And while the lines of work and play are somewhat blurred, I did give myself the time in January to knock back work, and leave time open for friends and general free time.
I spent a lot of time at home, cleaning and tidying, watched a fair amount of sport, sorted my images, and did a lot of computer maintenance. One thing I didn't do a whole lot of, was friends and general free time. It seems that when I have the time to spent with people, they aren't so keen on spending it with you. It's not personal I understand that, but the timing sucks ass.

And so as I head back to work tomorrow (in both a day job and photography sense) I'm actually looking forward to it. Socially there's just no adventure, but no comfort either, it's just... something (I'm not really sure). I feel like I spent a ridiculous amount of money living in the city, partying in the city, catching cabs to and from places, only to end up in the same place I started.

Time to head back in the shell for a while.

Timmy's Tweets
  • Brains wide awake with no one to entertain.... little help?
  • The sleep/awake switch is broken
  • Can't do much else but watch TV and stick to the bed in heat. Egh
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Timmy's Tweets
  • ... and home. Didn't get to see Cut Copy and Neil Young, but Prodigy were AMAZING! They haven't lost ANYTHING in 10 years!
  • My teenage years are flashing before my eyes... First last night and now Kris Cross on TV... wigadawigadawhack!
  • Everybody fussing around, finally at train station. Hitting harbour for a cruise. Can't wait too, it's Brisbane heat right now.
  • - And we're off the boat .. What a weekend!
  • Chillin with Clubbers Guide .. Stu your disc rocks, and you're single with Amanda is a definite hit!
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